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The stories below are excerpts of the new novel titled "My Email Evolution."

Fire Up the Chicken Thighs

I am a great fan of the shopping wholesale clubs. I was in Costco about five days ago.

We are presently experiencing the Corona 19 Pandemic. Costco’s had a lot of restrictions, and there wasn’t a full house like I’ve been used to for the last 25 years. I was looking for some chicken. An employee of Costco was helping me out. He had a package of boneless chicken thighs that he was giving me. I was iffy about whether I wanted to get them or not. I declined. After I declined a woman was standing a few feet away from me. Before I could walk away she said to me “Are you sure you don’t want to get them?” I told her I really had changed my mind. She continued to gently talk to me and make sure that I did not want them because that was the last package. Since I was there before her she wanted to make sure that I got them if I really needed them. I assured her I would be okay. She stood there, a little perplexed and just a little bit sad then continued to talk to me. She was a young woman, much younger than me, and she appeared to be in her middle 30s. She told me that her plan was to cook these chicken thighs with her husband and three children and they were going to cook them on the fireplace.

She thought that the kids would have fun doing that. She assured me she would monitor everything well. I told her that I thought that was a great idea, and let her know that I had a love for children. She asked me what I was planning to do if I had bought the thighs. I told her I was going to make chicken stew for my pooch, Yorkie Poo, Nicco. Then she started to feel sad for Nicco. So she said “I have a suggestion. How about if I purchase the chicken thighs and then we split them up at the counter and I will give you half of them and you can make the dog soup and we will use the rest of them to cook at my house. This way we share them but I want to give you half just as a present.”

I smiled and I thanked her, and I couldn’t hug her because of the coronavirus. We all had to be safe. But I let her know how much I appreciated her offer and I thought she was so sweet. I told her to take those thighs and have a great time with her family and not worry about me and Nicco.

 

I just want to take a moment to say that there are some very sweet and generous people, and genuinely caring in this world today. This is a horrible experience we are going through with the coronavirus, but some people are just stepping up and doing what they can to make it easier for the next person. They aren’t caring whether they are friends with the person or not or the same color as the other person. They simply want to help out.

I thought of that woman often throughout that day and the following days ahead. I wished that I had gotten her name or number to let her know how impressed and grateful that I am to have met her. I also wanted to check in with her to see if they had a good time roasting those thighs in her fireplace. I cannot find her and I don’t know how to find her because a zillion people go to Costco, but she is someone that I really wish that I could get in touch with. Perhaps I will run into her again and I will have an opportunity to let her know that she not only made an impression on me, but she also made my book. During Corona 19 epidemic, I am writing my 6th novel.

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Boost Her Up

It was 6 o’clock in the morning when I arrived in the ghetto. This was not a neighborhood that I liked. But I had to go there because my ex-boyfriend, I believe it was in a house in that neighborhood. I had received a call from a friend of his and that friend said that my ex-boyfriend was very upset about our break up. My ex-boyfriend used to be a heroin addict. He had been clean for at least 20 years. When I broke up with him he decided to start using again. His friend got in touch with me to let me know the situation. I did a little detective work and found out that a friend of his lived in this neighborhood. She was also a heroin attic. So I knew that I had to get to him and get him turned around. So I knew that early in the morning would be the best time to find him. So I got all dressed up and went to the ghetto. I started knocking on doors calling his name and then I will go back over to my car and start blowing the horn when I got to about the eighth house, he came rushing out. He was at this girl’s house, and I knew that she used to boost clothes to function her Heroin addiction. He came rushing down the street telling me to stop making noise and I was screaming. I told him he better get his ass out of the ghetto. I performed out there. He got his things got in his car and he left I followed him home to his house. Once I got there I gave him a big talk and told him that he had to get his shit together. And, that I would be watching him.

He got himself together. And, he told me that I should not have done that and I probably could have gotten beaten up and robbed down there making all that racket early in the morning.

It did the trick and I got him back on track. He’s clean again.

Adrienne's Version of

Courage Under Fire 

I was at my boyfriend's. We’d been to his favorite restaurant and I was just about to get undressed. The phone rang and it was for me. My oldest daughter was on the line. This was a period of time that there were no cell phones. This was about 1992. “Mom, you’ve got to get to Lankenau! Kevin got shot!” Rina screamed. I put those high heels back on, grabbed my purse, shouted goodbye to my man of two years, and dashed out the door.


I had to keep it together, Rina was hysterical. It seemed like it was taking all the time in the world to get to that hospital. When I finally arrived there, I stopped outside the emergency room, grabbed a twenty-dollar bill, and gave it to a guard. “Sir, park it. I gotta leave. I will find you later. I gotta go.” I took those heels off and hauled ass. “I am here for Kevin Morano, I am his mother!” I shouted. “Ma’am, this way, please. Come on, I will take you up. Give me your I.D.” I gave him my entire purse when we stepped into the elevator.


When we got to the floor, I got off and Rina was pacing. Crying and pacing. Fingers running through her hair. I grabbed her and hugged her. She exploded in hysterics in my arms. “Mom, he is not going to make it” she sobbed. “They shot him five times.” She was trembling. I was calm, almost hypnotized. I pushed her away and told her to lead me to him. I had to drag her. She pointed. He was still and tubes were everywhere. I shook my head, pointed my face to the ceiling, and told my daughter to excuse me. “Go sit down.”  


Alone, I entered his room. I slowly walked over to him. I kissed him on his forehead. I was very calm. I said “Hey, I’m here. So you got in a fight, huh? I’m missing my favorite TV show, LA Law.”


He said not a word. He was breathing with assistance. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll do all the talking for a little bit and I’ll hold your hand. Now you listen the fuck up because I am getting ready to make a speech. Now cops and robbers are your jobs. You do this for a living. This shit in here, in this room, is a piece of cake. Fucking drama.”


Now the real trouble, shit to really scare you, well, it is that girl out there that you date. Your damn girlfriend. That’s who and what’s going to kill your ass one way or another. She is a fucking maniac. Hard to deal with. Always starting some shit on a regular day. Pain in the ass. Selfish. Always raising hell. That’s what’ll kill you. You can survive anything but her ass. You better get up and get your gun back. You’re going to need it. I have known her all her life. Remember Buddy, I’m her Mama.”


“So this drama tonight will not take you from us. But you better watch your back with her. Now my instructions are for you to stop scaring the shit out of these people. Get your ass up. You ain’t getting off this easy. And you are a Scorpio, so you know you’re going to get those fuckers back, even when they get outta jail. I do not have time for this bullshit. The hearse ain’t coming here, comprende?” I’m picking your ass up in my car, comprende?” l know what is supposed to happen. I am bringing your daughter up here tomorrow with a bucket of chicken. I’m calling your mother and making arrangements with her. Be ready for lunch. Squeeze my damn hand! If you are understanding me, squeeze my damn hand! Don’t play with me this time of night boy when I gotta drive back to Germantown!”


He squeezed my hand. He was conscious. Tried to smile. A Thank You to God silently went up from me. “I’ve got one more question and I got to bounce. Did your partners get those motherfuckers that shot you or do I have to find them?” You know I am going to the station tomorrow with my legal pad and some ink pens. I guarantee you I’ll be real busy tomorrow. You are my project.”


I cried and prayed all the way back to Tedd’s in Germantown. I had to be strong and keep my head together. I was the leader…..again. Partnered with the Man Upstairs.


Officer Kevin Morano survived. He ended up quitting the Narcotics Undercover Police Force and went to school for nursing. He is currently a very qualified Nurse Anestisist at two hospitals in Chicago.


He and my daughter dated a few years after his injury and are now platonic friends. I still call him my son even though I haven’t seen him in a long time.

Aunt Mable was Rude

I wanted to share this story with you. When my daughter was about four years old we were traveling from Philadelphia to the south to go to my husband’s Aunt Mable‘s funeral. Of course, she drove us crazy, my daughter, counting down the numbered road signs. Then when we finally made it to Virginia, we were at the funeral.

My husband came from a large family. After the funeral, we went to the repass luncheon at a nearby church. We went to a restaurant because my husband and my daughter wanted other types of food. On the way home, we were talking to my daughter in the car and we were telling her about her Aunt Mable. My daughter responded saying that she was upset with Aunt Mable.


Surprised, we questioned her. She said that she did not like it that she rode all the way down there to see Aunt Mable and she didn’t even speak to her. That she slept the whole time and didn’t even say hello to her. She said that Aunt Mable just laid in her bed and slept and it wasn’t right. And, that restaurant we went to first was not as nice as the other restaurant we visited.

Scrambling Around Trying To Pay Stuff Off

I had just gotten in from the regular market. My plan was to make myself another pizza. I had purchased a small amount of a few fresh veggies, radishes and cauliflower, carrots, string beans, and some extra jars of organic sauce. Still sticking with no cheese. Found the organic cherry juice for my diagnosis of gout. The wholesale clubs I called ahead are completely out of cherry juice. The Weis Market had great deals and very close to my house. I called them before I went there and the clerk ran around to look what I wanted while I held on. Thoughtful. Gave me aisle numbers and all, and brand names. I appreciated that. I’ve already got some fresh cherries in the house.

I got a few other things, coffee, and Nicco some chicken breast, and me, some ice cream. Well, I feel like I got a load of stuff and spent $43.00.


Standing in line to check out was a guy in front of me. I was watching him load his stuff to be rung up. A really tall guy with these big work boots on. Maybe in the late ’20s or early ’30s. He was examining his merchandise as he was loading it onto the belt. I was imagining his mom must have taught him well, raised up to be responsible. He was ready to pay. Gave the clerk 3 different credit cards and all declined. He pulled out another one and said to the clerk “If this one doesn’t work they’re going to shut my account down. He was worried. There could have been a problem with the pin or something. I don’t know.” So now I’m listening and watching.


I’d left out of my house after watching our adopted son, the young actor Michael B. Jordan on The Ellen Show. You know that’s my other child. I’m so proud of him. So now I’m fixated on this White guy and his credit cards do not work. I tapped his arm and said “I’ve got you. I’m going to pay for your stuff.”

He was surprised and grateful. He thanked me. Then his last card went through. The cashier gave him his receipt for $33.00.


I really am scrambling around paying stuff, we all are, but I love it that we all will help one another out. Michael B. Jordan was dressed to the nines on TV and partnered up with Ellen to help someone get back on their feet.

I’m imagining that young man in the market making his dinner and putting his groceries away. After he got out of those big work boots.


And, I’m pretty thankful and grateful for people who’ve pulled me out of ditches and saved my butt. I’ve got a list of rescuers with big hearts and open arms.

This is a good day. And, I’m going to give the electric company their $335.00 tomorrow and ask them why the bill is so high.

Thinking On Your Feet Even Though You’ve Got a Mustang

My oldest daughter Kelsey announced to me that she had a date and he’d be arriving in about an hour. I asked some questions about the young man. My daughter felt as though I was giving her a hard time. She was 18 at the time. I told her I just wanted to get some information on the young man, meet him when he arrived to pick her up and I would like to get a copy of his driver’s license. My daughter was flabbergasted. She actually forbade me from interrogating him.


So, when the young man came in I got a chance to say hello to him, get his first name, and kind of look him up and down. He looked to be in his early 20’s. They dashed and out the door. I had no idea where they were going. He looked okay, I wasn’t alarmed, and it’s just that I was uncomfortable because I didn’t know the person that she was going out with. And I didn’t have his license tag. It was about 8 o’clock in the evening when they were leaving my house. I was pissed I had no info. I looked out of my living room window when they drove off in his white Mustang convertible, top up. Tan top.


At about 9:15 in the evening I received a phone call from my daughter. Her voice was muffled. She was talking fast. Her words were mom, I’m a little bit scared. This really alarmed me. I asked her what was going on. She told me that her date was in the bathroom but he was acting kind of weird. She said that she was afraid. I asked her if she wanted me to hold on. I’ve then just told her to give me the phone number where she was, and the address if she knew it and to hurry. I told her to see if she could see a piece of mail around so she’d have his address and to hurry and give me the phone number first.


Kelsey gave me the phone number. She then gave me an address and then she hung up abruptly. I waited all of three minutes and I called back to the phone number that she had given me. I had also jotted down very quickly his address. He answered his phone when I called. I was very friendly, upbeat and sweet on the phone.


Lying my ass off, I explained to Roger that I needed to get in touch with my daughter because family had arrived unexpectedly to our house from out of town. So I apologized for shortening their date to tell him that I would need her to come right home. I asked him to put her on the phone. Instead of doing that, Roger wanted to know some details and said that he had made some very special plans and he couldn’t come right away, but if I could give him about three hours they would be back from the date and he would bring her home then.


I quickly told him that that wasn’t going to be necessary. He answered back to tell me that he didn’t want to end the day so soon. He also said he didn’t want to inconvenience me by having me to come and pick her up. I then explained to him that I had no intentions of coming to pick her up. I told him that I worked for the police department. I confirmed his address. I told him I knew he probably loved driving that pretty white mustang convertible, but I could handle getting Kelsey home.


I explained to him that I worked for the police department for eleven years and throughout that time, all of us were at one time or another having our kids picked up from somewhere. Sometimes it was even rock concert parking lots or skating parties at roller rinks where somebody’s kid couldn’t get home. I let him know that even on occasions we had each other‘s kids picked up from their

part time jobs at McDonald’s. And, we just send a car out for them. I assured him it was no big deal. I told him we even do it between the departments, the precincts,. Then I chuckled and said one of these days they are going to get us and we’re probably going to get in trouble for doing this, but we got a lookout for the kids. I then went on to tell him that I could simply have one of the guys come by and pick her up and they could bring her to me. This way, he wouldn’t be inconvenienced to have to bring all the way back to my home. I then asked him to put her on the phone. This time he put her on.


I let Kelsey know what I was about to do. She was replying yes, no, and Um hum and okay. Home, then asked what time. I answered, soon, very soon. She said okay, a squad car. Okay. Then she then passed the phone over to Roger.


A frazzled Roger, before I could get a word in edgewise, agreed for the date to be over and said they were rushing out immediately to bring Kelsey home.


They arrived in 35 minutes. She was safe. She never contacted him again, she apologized to me for accusing me of being a worry wart parent, and she was very glad that I thought of that story and got her butt back home safely.

A Little Kid Needs a Ride

I believe that this happened in 2018. I was watching Good Morning America. I saw a story about a girl who had to walk I believe about 2 miles to school every day. Unfortunately her parents did not own a car. So she would have to walk. This disturbed me. And as I watched the entire documentary on this, a police officer had seen her walking to school one morning. And he pulled over and he offered to drive her to school he told her it was fine for her to get into his car. He had his patrol car. He drove the little girl to school and she explained to him that she had to walk every day. This officer was so concerned about her that he returned to the school in the afternoon to pick her up and take her back home. He went to his boss and explain the situation and he got permission to drive her to and from school so she would not have to walk. Even on his days off he agreed to drive her.


I felt so sorry about this story. And, at the time I had an extra car, a Toyota Corolla that was a 2006 and it was in mint condition. I wanted to help. I know that the officer had spoken to the little girl’s parents and decided to take the problem on. I know that he had agreed to take her to and from school every day. But I wanted to help. So I called Good Morning America and I tried to track the officer down or the family and I couldn’t come up with the right people there to hook me up with the story. But I remain concerned about the little girl and so very, very proud of the officer that took on this problem.


Unfortunately, I was never able to locate the story or get anyone to help me because I really did want to donate my 2006 Toyota Corolla to the family so that they would have a vehicle. I never got a chance to do that. In 2019 at about the month of August or September my 2006 Toyota Corolla had a very bad mishap. Apparently an animal invaded the car and it somehow got caught up in some wires or something and my car had a horrible smell to it. My car ended up being totaled. It was all as a result of this animal. We are not sure if it was a squirrel, mouse, rat or chipmunk or another type of animal that found its way into the car and died. This created a horrible smell in the car. We took the car many places because I loved the car and it ran perfectly and we wanted to keep it. But the car had to be totaled and it is now gone. It stunk so badly that no one could believe the fumes that came out of it. No one wanted to get near it to fix it.


I often wonder how the little girl is making out and if the officer is still driving her to and from school. I miss my 2006 Toyota Corolla. It had new tires before this happened. It never gave me a bit of trouble. It was such a good car and I was very sorry to lose it. It was like part of my family. It is a car I had purchased for my daughter when she was about 20 years old. I purchased it brand new.

I ended up back with the car because she had promised me that she would make half the payment when I bought her the car and you know how your children can be some time. You know they don’t always do what they say they’re going to do. So my daughter had abandoned the car two months after she got it because she didn’t want to make car payments. So she ended up getting another car. I ended up with the Corolla. I had been the co-signer on the vehicle.


Had promised me that she would make half the payments when I bought her the car and you know how your children can be sometime. You know they don’t always do what they say they’re going to do. So my daughter had abandoned the car two months after she got it because she didn’t want to make car payments. So she ended up getting another car.


So, I will share with you that if your car ever has a really bad smell in it and you don’t understand it please have it completely checked out because animals have a way of getting inside your car and they can be in the inside the hood of the car or underneath or somewhere and they can ruin your car. So this is the story of the 2006 Toyota Corolla they didn’t make it to the other side of the world to help a walking girl and perhaps a family that needed some assistance. I always think that possibly if I had gotten that car to that family that the squirrels in my development or the chipmunks or the rat or the mouse or whatever went inside of it and died, that it may not have happened that way.


Once I went on the Internet and Googled that whole subject I found that there were many, many people who had lost their cars because of animals having a way to get inside. My neighbors told me that if I had had a tray of mothballs in the back of my car that the animals wouldn’t have been tempted to stay in the car. It seems these animals hate mothballs.


So that’s your tip for today and I hope nothing ever happens to your car, especially like what happened to mine. That car was something like part of my family. It’s served us well.

The Gynecologist and the Mink Coat

He became my gynecologist and OB/GYN in 1984. This was my second pregnancy and my first pregnancy had not gone full-term. I was referred to Dr. Julian DiFrancisco from a very dear friend of mine. She said he was an exceptional person, a great doctor and was at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia. She gave him a raving review.


So it was January 1984 that I began seeing Dr. DiFrancisco. We had a scheduled date for a cesarean section for September 23 of 1984. I had vaginally delivered my first daughter and she was premature. She had been expected in March 1972, however, she arrived on January 30 of 1972. So since I hadn’t been able to carry a baby full term, we decided to be very careful during this pregnancy.


I did want to work throughout the pregnancy. And I did up to a certain point, but I began having problems. So by the end of February, I was placed on complete bedrest. Well, I was placed on complete bedrest but I did manage to go shopping a lot at the malls. I was having trouble with Panic Disorder and I had been in a minor car accident during this pregnancy. I had also eaten too many crab legs and was having contractions early in the pregnancy. So because I was having all these problems my doctor placed me on bedrest so that my husband would not have to continuously leave his job and come and find me somewhere where I either had a panic attack or some type of breathing problem or had fallen down. And, also when I ate the crab legs they began making me have contractions. So I had to give up my job.


Dr. DiFrancisco delivered my baby in August 1984. I couldn’t make it to September. So he was my gynecologist from 1984 through the next 18 years. He then retired.


I was very happy with him being my gynecologist, and I had a lot of faith in him and I was quite comfortable with him. I am remembering one day I went to visit him on a routine checkup. It was a very cold winter day. His staff got me all set up and put in the room and I had my gown on waiting for him to come for a routine checkup. I was about 36 years old at that time. I remember laying there on the exam table waiting for him to get to me and I became rather cold. There’s something about the temperatures in those rooms. I had worn a very beautiful mink coat to his office that day. So, because I was cold and was not sure how long he was going to be before he got to my room, I got up and put the mink coat on. I then returned to the exam table and laid down with the mink coat over me. Finally Dr. DiFrancisco arrived in my room with my chart in his hand. He noticed me wrapped up in the mink coat. He was astonished and embarrassed. He looked at me and shook his head. He said "No, oh, no. Not this. You can’t do this. You cannot lay that way, in this room on that exam table wrapped up in a fur coat and have me come in here examine you. You don’t know the thoughts that are going through my mind. And, I am embarrassed. You can do a lot of things but you can’t lay up on the table with no clothes on and a mink coat. I can’t take it. So I am going to step out of the room, and let you get out of that coat and back in that gown and on that table so that I do not lose my license. You look amazing but I am the doctor and I want to continue to be the doctor. I don’t want to be placed in a facility for not being able to contain myself. Please keep me an honest, righteous, law abiding person and a good doctor, Please. I’ll see you when you get dressed properly."


I wish he had let me tell him that even though I had that hospital gown on under the coat, I had been freezing my ass off.

It’s an Emergency! The Tom Joyner Morning Show Needs To Know This News!

This occurred in the year 2000. I received an early morning telephone call from my 18-year-old daughter, Suzette. Suzette was an in-patient in a hospital. She had been told that she could not, would not be able to vote. It was Election Day that this was occurring. She was a registered voter. This would be her first time voting. This was the election where the Republican candidate was George Bush, and the Democratic candidate was Senator Al Gore.


I was very tired this particular morning. I had spent a lot of time at the hospital with my daughter the day before and had gotten home late that night. However, she was very upset and I was surprised to hear from her that she would not be able to vote. I figured they would have a representative, or someone coming around to see that the people were able to put a ballot in or do something. I had no idea that members of the staff at the hospital were flat out telling inpatients that they were not allowed to vote. My daughter’s astrological sign is a Leo. And, in astrology I will tell you something. You do not boss the Leo’s around. So my daughter wanted something done pronto!


I tried to calm her down as best I could. I asked for the nurse’s station and spoke with someone there to try to make some arrangements about her getting out to vote, or put me in touch with someone in administration at the hospital to see if they have a plan for people to vote. The first thing I wanted to do was to clarify if what my daughter was telling me, about not being allowed to vote was correct. So I had to take over starting in the hospital. It was about six in the morning when she had called me with this complaint.


I got to talk to two separate people at the hospital, none of which were in administration, but the people that I talked to informed me that they had no way of seeing that the patients could vote. They said they had no voting machines there and had not heard that anything was going to take place in order to allow in-patients to vote. These people simply did not know the plan.


The Tom Joyner Morning Show was a radio show that was very popular. This was an African American radio show. Tom Joyner had a lot of influence on people and people respected him. It aired from six in the morning until ten in the morning six days a week. So, my daughter was getting in touch with me early enough so that if I couldn’t pull some strings directly at the hospital, that I could get on the phone with the Tom Joyner Morning Show crew to let them know that people were being forbidden to vote. This was a very serious election.


When I got nowhere, I did call the Time Joyner Morning Show and reported this. They knew me from calling in, because I was a great fan of the show for years. Once I reported it and got their take on the matter, I got showered and dressed and headed for the hospital. My daughter was very glad to see me. I told her that Tom was working on it. That calmed her down a little. However, she was still a bit upset that she may not be able to vote.


I placed a call to the gastroenterologist, a stomach specialist assigned to Suzette. This doctor was also Chief of Staff in his department. I left word with his secretary that I needed to talk to him. I let them know that I was concerned about her not being able to vote and I wanted to talk to her boss about what we could do as far as getting the situation fixed.


I even expressed that if they could not get it straightened out quickly, would I be allowed to take her to the 12 minute drive away to the voting poll so that she could vote? I wanted to know if I could have that option. Then we sat waiting for answers from either Tom Joyner, the secretary, the floor staff, or the doctor directly.


I finally got a call from the doctor and he advised that there was nothing in place at the hospital for inpatients or emergency room patients to vote. He also explained that Suzette was a Crohn’s patient, with an IV. She could not leave the hospital. So that meant we were not going to be allowed to run over and vote and come back. Suzette was pissed.


I called back to the Tom Joyner Morning Show and gave them the results. Once I got that done I started calling the news media. I mean the television news media networks. I was asking questions and complaining about the fact that there were so many people inpatient and emergency room patients, and they could not vote. I spoke with a person at one of the television stations that wanted to interview Suzette and me. I answered some questions for them and then we hung up. It was my understanding that they were going to send someone over to the hospital to interview us.


Suzette still would not give up and calm down. She was afraid that the day will go by and she would not be able to vote. So I had to think of something else. I told Suzette that I was going to bust her out of the hospital secretly. I told her that I did not know how to handle the IV. The IV was in her hand. I knew nothing about taking needles out of her hand. The next thing I knew, that Leo girl had snatched that needle out of her hand. I told her to sit tight. I went out into the hallway and I found a wheelchair. I put Suzette in the wheelchair. She had on a hospital nightgown and a pair of panties. Because she came in late the evening before we hadn’t packed a bag, we just ran to the hospital. So, I had a suitcase with me and I was thinking whether I should put some clothes on her. But the more I thought about it, the plan that I had in mind, if I were to put some clothes on her or open the suitcase, then we probably wouldn’t be able to pull this off.


So I told Suzette to get in the chair with her hospital nightgown on and I got her some slippers. I rolled her down the hallway and I had my purse. I was stopped when I went to the elevator by a nurse. She asked me where I was going. I told her that I was taking Suzette down to the cafeteria to get her something to eat because she did not like the breakfast. I told her that I would be right back. She asked me why I was taking Suzette with me. I told her that Suzette had been upset this morning and she was cranky and she wanted to ride downstairs to the cafeteria with me and we will be right back. The nurse agreed and I told her I should be back within 15 minutes.


When we got downstairs I made a beeline for my car that was in the parking lot. I got Suzette out of the wheelchair and in my car and threw my handbag in the backseat. We fled. When we got to the schoolhouse where the voting was taking place, I grabbed her out and I snatched the blanket. The hospital gown was open in the back and I wrapped a blanket around her waist and I hustled her into the school house. As I was walking, I was pleading with the people in line to please let us through. I was saying it over and over again. I mentioned that we had a patient that needs to vote. This is her first time voting! She wants to vote! She’s just gotten out of the hospital!


People were leading her through the line that had been standing there and applauding her for coming to vote. So she got right in and she voted and she got right out and I was holding the blanket around her to keep her butt from showing and she got to vote. When we got out of the booth she held both hands up in triumph and said “Thank you all for witnessing this and helping me. This is my first time voting! I turned 18 this year.” As we left to get back in my car the people standing out were still applauding and giving her the thumbs up. We both voted and got the heck out of there.


When we got back to the hospital, I put Suzette back in a wheelchair and was getting on the elevator. When we got off the elevator and headed down the hall to her room, I was stopped by the nurse. The nurse said that they were looking for us in the cafeteria and could not find us. I told her that Suzette had to go to the bathroom and I did go into the bathroom that was around the corner from the cafeteria. We were probably in the bathroom when they were looking for us. She looked at us kind of funny and then we got to the room and she got back in bed. Now we have to figure out how to get that IV needle back in place in her hand. Suzette was so relieved that she had gotten to vote, that she didn’t even care about replacing the IV needle.


The next thing we know the doctor came in. He wanted to have a talk with me about the voting. He still did not have an answer he admitted, but he wanted to talk to us. He explained there would be no voting. I told him I understood and that I would explain it to the television station when they came up to talk to me and Suzette. He had a very disappointing look on his face. Then he was turning red. He was definitely angry. He looked at me.


“Do you mean to tell me that you called up the television station?” I answered yes. I explained that because we didn’t know how we were going to be able to vote, and I couldn’t get any answers quickly I called them and they want to interview us. The doctor hurried out of that room. In twenty minutes he came down and explained to us that they had a meeting and that everyone was going to be allowed to vote. He told me to take Suzette to vote and then bring her back to the hospital.


I told him that was okay that we didn’t care anymore. He said “Oh no, oh no please let’s get her ready and take her to vote and bring her back here." He insisted that we go. Suzette and I left the hospital. We had to go home to our house and stay there for three hours to kill time. We watched television and then we returned to the hospital. She spent nine additional days as an inpatient.


Insofar as the other patients in the hospital as inpatient and the emergency room patients, they were allowed to go to vote and then return. The hospital arranged transportation for them to their voting locations.

When Suzette was discharged from the hospital she was notified that she should continue her care at another facility. That’s another story.

I Appreciate Being Congratulated

I think that my pet is the best. The thing that I like about Nicco are his good manners. I like it that he waits until I am off the phone or on my devices and gives me that space when I am busy. And when he hears me say bye-bye or put my device down, then he will come over to me for whatever he wants. Usually attention or food or he wants me to play with his toys with him.


I like it that when I have to leave the room to do some work downstairs in my house and I tell him where I’m going that when I come back he’s in my spot. At first I didn’t understand him being in my spot, like what that meant. So I looked it up on the Internet and it explained that if your dog does that and when you walk back in the room and he moves out of the way that he was being protective of you while you were gone. So, he stayed in your spot and he gave you a spot when you came back. Had he not given me my spot it meant more like he was territorial or that he was the boss of the house. That’s a bad dog.


I love it that when I go down the stairs and he stands at the stairwell that he will try to give me a kiss or watch me go down the stairs. He also comes to the stairs sometimes when I’m coming up with his food and he’ll try to give me a kiss and lead me in. But most often, if he knows I’m going for food he’ll just sit in my spot on my bed. If I’m too long away from him he will come down and hang out on the couch or the stair landing. I do explain everything I am doing and I always give him choices. I talk to him just like he is human.


Nicco is trained to wee wee pads in my house ever since he came to live with me when he was seven weeks old. He is also trained to go on walks and do his business. So I have the thing covered both ways. If we get 30 inches of snow, Nicco can poop in the house on the wee wee pad. If we’ve got sunshine or nice weather, Nicco goes for a walk a few times a day. If I catch a cold and don’t feel good, I don’t have to take him out. I appreciate that from Nicco.


So I got to thinking I’ve had him 10 years. Every time he pees on the wee wee pad or he poops on the wee wee pad I congratulate Nicco. I let him know that he did a good job. I don’t just take it for granted. So I thought about it. If he poops twice or three times a day, that’s 365 days a year. If he pees it’s that same amount of time. So I have had this dog for 10 years. And I do the calculation of all this peeing and pooping. And each and every time he pees or poops on those wee wee pads, I make a big deal out of it. I mean I really make a big deal out of it. I let him know by congratulating him that I appreciate everything that he does on that wee we pad. And I know that it makes him feel important.


I wish that people would do the same thing for people. Your husbands, wives, significant others, friends, mothers, grandmothers, god mothers, aunts, uncles, teachers, children, grandchildren, cousins, pastors, employers, employees, co-workers, doctors, police officers and friends. I really wish that people would acknowledge when someone has done a good job and congratulate them and not take it for granted.


I think that it would make the world a better place. So yes, me and Nicco are in this thing for 10 years and every time he pees or poops on that wee wee pad I act like it’s the first time.


You should see how his tail wags when I make the big deal. And, sometimes we do a little dance called The Ho. And, the words are Ho, Ho, hey Nicco hey Nicco put your thing down, put your thing down, Ho, Ho. He does his little dance. And I dance along with him. And you know many times I am tired and stressed and I don’t feel like it. But, I’m going to tell you something, I do it anyway. Because he is a good dog and he makes me happy. He does the best he can.


And I love it that I can count on him when I take him somewhere, to an office or to someone’s house or the supermarket and he behaves.

Let's Give The Girls a Hand

Ali Wentworth

I love her. I absolutely positively beyond a shadow of a doubt love Ali Wentworth. I have been watching her and watching out for her for years. I want to share some of the funniest moments with her, with you, my readers.

I was watching Good Morning America one morning and Ali Wentworth came on from home. It was her and her husband George Stephanopoulos, the dog, and their two daughters. Yep everybody’s in the same bed. Just like at my house. And Ali was explaining a few things. 

 

And what was so funny to me was that they were all in the bed together and Ali said somebody had peed. She had no idea if it was one of the girls or it was the dog.

What I like about Ali is that she is so normal crazy. Like regular people. Like you can really relate to her. And she is funny. I love it that she’s so funny. She makes me happy. 

 

And I love her home. You know, she is a great decorator and a person who actually saves money at decorating. She simple has a knack for the thing. So I am also very impressed with the fact that she makes such a lovely home. I love the way she has decorated her home. And, it is a house that I really want to visit. 

 

I had this kind of dream thing, like one of my favorite things that I want to do and I want to go to Ali Wentworth’s house. I don’t want to stay a long time because a lot goes on there. And I don’t want to get on her nerves and be a guest too long. But I do want to spend an entire day there and then when it comes time to go to bed I want to leave and go to a hotel.

Since they are so crazy and I am a little bit crazy, I think by 6 o’clock at night it should be time for me to leave and go to a hotel. And one thing I like about Ali, is that she is hot for her husband. And she says it. And that is just the way I’d like a family to be, especially a couple. Tell it like it really is.

So she has all these things that I love about her and her acting is superb. I saw her in the movie titled It's Complicated. You know the movie with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. They too are favorites of mine, especially Alec because he acts real crazy all over the place and I just love him. He’s always doing something or responding to something. And whatever he’s done, I’m always on his side.

 

Ali, I am writing this book at Corona 19 time. You’ve been diagnosed. When gathering my outline for this book a long time ago, you were on my list. Corona was not in our world. So when I got the news about you, the tears flowed. I was scared. I was worried. I wanted to come and personally take care of you. Like you were my family. I stuck with Good Morning America and the news. I’ve watched that program for a hundred years. Raised my kids up on that show. I am crying right now while writing. I emailed a friend saying “She’s just got to pull through.” I prayed. Me and God, we’ve done well by each other. I figured he would help me out with you. He delivered.

Thank You God.

Kelly Ripa

She’s my girl. I love so many things about her! I feel like saying I love you Kelly, let me count the ways. I love your parenting skills. I listen to you. I take all those skills and I use them. I have two daughters and three grandsons. What I love is you have rules. And you stick to them. And I know who Hatchet Foot is. I am laughing out loud right now. I love the advice that you give on children. Yep, take those cell phones away at night so then they will not beep off and disturbed your sleep. The stories you tell are so funny. And, I like the fact that when they piss you off you let us know. I want to be your cohost. I want to come one day and sit with you and Ryan.

I’m from Philadelphia, so I am your neighbor from when you grew up very close to us. I have learned so many things by watching your show. I learned about what TV shows to watch. I can always depend on you. And I love your relationship with your husband. And, he’s a great fill in for you. You look so cool in the very beginning of the show when you’re walking down the street with those jeans on to I love it that you’re fit. The stories that you tell are amazing. I have been watching you since All My Children. I am so proud of you, Kelly. I really am.

 

You are a great actress and mom and host. I love it when you talk about your in-laws and your parents. I want to come over to your house. And, I am going to spend the night when I come. Because your house is really like the crazy house and I feel like I can hang. I feel like I can spend the whole night there. And I’m very safe. I love the stories about your dog Chewy and I love the way you insult yourself sometimes.

You’ve got personality and class. And, it’s wonderful that when you introduce your guests and they sit down and you always find a way to give them a complement. No matter what size they are or what color they are or what they are wearing, you find something and some way to complement them. You are one sweet Libra. I love the way you support your husband, and the way the two of you get along. You have a lot of self-confidence, smarts, goals, information, and you are as funny as you can be. I have stupid people rage and you are one smart cookie so you know I really love you to death.

I love the story about when your daughter went away to college you had dropped her off and everything and then that night she was back over there, at home, with her friends because she was bored. She was going to have a party at your house. And you told her she had to go back to school. You are just the best.

I love your style, you wear great outfits.

Well, you’ve done superb, girl, acting on your own TV shows, going to work at All My Children at such a young age, and cohosting that show as long as you have done it. You are very successful and I want you to know that I am super proud of you.

Okay, you give me a buzz and tell me when you want me to come over to your house or when you want me to come cohost with you. We could do this thing together. And, I’m not trying to take anybody’s job. I’ve got a lot of stuff I’ve got to do. I am a writer. I write novels.

You make your guests, cohosts, viewers, and live audiences feel like part of your family. That’s a great attribute and the fact that you are so smart, really makes me extra proud of you.

You are my girl!

 

You should be proud to know that my friend’s granddaughter at nine months old said Kelly Ripa for her first two words! She watched the show with her mother from her high chair daily while eating breakfast. Taylor is now nineteen years old.

Flame

I met you on the Tiffany Haddish Netflix Special titled She Ready. Tiffany was most definitely highly correct. I enjoyed your performance so very much. You said a lot of things that we would never have thought were coming. You delivered so well. You certainly do deserve to be really recognized and work a whole lot and be a big star. I am hoping that things go positively through the roof for you. You simply cannot imagine how much I enjoyed your performance. You were and are my very favorite that appeared on that show. And, everybody was good, don’t get me wrong but there’s always a best one. And Flame, that was you. I have sat around and thought of how I am going to hire you to do something for me. I’ve got it in my mind to get this done.

Congratulations on everything that you achieved and for what I know is coming down the pike for you.

You are an extraordinary talent.

Wanda Sykes

Lord Have Mercy, Pleeze. Girl you are so funny I can’t believe it. You are so funny I am stunned. You are so hilarious that I just get happy. I’m so proud of you. Let me tell you something, I was trying to find you to tell you how wonderful you are and how I am intrigued with your family. You’ve got it out there like everybody in the house is crazy. So I guess you did have to name your latest comedy show Not Normal.

I went up to Costco to try to find you. I went up there to give my information so that I could find you and let you know how happy you make me. I am also so very glad that the world has been generous to you. And, that they have acknowledged what a great comedian you are. And it’s not just the standup that I’m talking about I’m talking about the movies, the television, and the stand up when you stand up and let somebody know what you believe and you stick to it. I love it about you. And I crack up on the stories you tell about your wife and your children.

 

You and I are on the same vibe about The Bachelorette. And, when I heard your comments I was cracking up. And I was glad to have you as an ally. Your success, your personality, your honesty and your talent keeps a lot of us going. It keeps us dreaming it keeps us working and it gives us a sense of knowing that if you perfected it is going to shine down on you like the sun and never get dark. I love you girl.

Sharon Osborne

Okay Libra, you have had my full attention for a very long time. You remind me so much of myself that it blows me away. There are so many things I love about you I have to count them up with you. 

 

First of all you are so honest and judgmental. And, sometimes folks don’t want to hear it from us but we just have to say it anyway. 

 

You are down to earth. You are just so funny. I know so many stories and I’m going to tell you the one story about you standing in front of your bedroom window. You were looking out and someone was taking care of the grounds and you pulled your pajama top up or down or something. In any case you exposed yourself to the man. I don’t care and I had a fit and I cracked up. 

 

I love the stories that you tell about your grandchildren. How you babysit and they are on such a schedule and you promised their parents that you’re going to stick to the schedule. Well that turns out to be a damn lie. I love it that you spoil them the way that you do.

You have the honesty that flows out on The Talk. There is nothing phony about you. You say it. You tell it like it damn is. And, I adore that so much about you. I have grieved with you pertaining to the illnesses you have endured, and the medical issue of your family members. I was sticking with you when you didn’t even know it. I was hanging right there with you and praying. 

 

I looked up and learned about Multiple Sclerosis. I don’t know what happened but I sent a bunch of gifts to all of you. I wrapped them up and dressed them up all nice and sent them and didn’t hear a word. So I don’t know if they got past the producers office or what happened but I thought about the show and I’d liked everybody on the show. So about five years ago I sent all of you a bunch of stuff. I didn’t hear anything back from you but I sent it because I love you guys and I love the show.

I know there are some trials and tribulations that you went through but I want you to know that you are very special to me and that I was hanging in there right along with you and praying. And, I know that there are some things going on right now and I want you to know that you have my support. I have your back even though you don’t even know me and you need to know that many people love you that don’t know you. We just love you. 

 

I love the way you dress, and I love it when you have to have to hack somebody up. You stand your ground. You’re very opinionated. And you’re very smart and you are going to overcome everything. And it seems that you put your whole self into whatever the problem is. And things get rocky sometime but you know what Sharon, you get it worked out. 

 

There’s not a thing in the world that I don’t think that you can’t accomplish or overcome.

Another plus for you is you stand by your man when you get done screaming. You keep your family together. The Libra leader. That’s my girl. Call Smokey Robinson and tell him to sing that tune to you that’s titled What Love Has Joined Together.

 

 

You need to know I sincerely wish your family the best and I am so glad that years ago a friend of mine, Dorothy Coles, turned me on to The Talk.

eEllen Degeneres

Now you are a piece of work. I mean a real honest to God piece of work. I think you ought to go to the therapist and I want to be sitting next to you. I have been watching you for about three years. I came in as a late bloomer to the Ellen DeGeneres current daytime show. But it didn’t take me long at all to fall in love once I got there. I cry a lot, but that comes with the territory. I listen to you a lot. I pay attention.

Years ago, before you came out I already knew that you were gay. I used to watch your nighttime show. And I think that was in 1997. I could be wrong but I think it was around 1997. And I told my daughter, I said I think Ellen DeGeneres is gay. She said “How do you know? I replied “I can just tell. And then I after your show went off I lost track of you because I got swept up by your buddy Oprah. And I worked and I don’t know, I just hadn’t gotten into your daytime show. But I eventually started watching you and I fell in love with your show. I mean I had to do a whole bunch of crying and a whole bunch of caring but you can grow it out of a person. You have the ability can grow them immediately into caring and that is a beautiful thing and an amazing attribute.

I love your stories. I think you’re funny in the crazy kind of way and people just don’t know what the heck you’re going to do. But you’re on my DVD so that I don’t miss you if I have to go out and I am exceptionally proud of you. 

 

I’ve also got a problem because you had a problem when you were growing up. I watched the documentary with David Letterman. And, I had to really shed some tears, but I am so glad that you released it to the world.

I AM GRATEFUL THAT YOUR LIFE IS HAPPY WITH YOUR WIFE, PORTIA. And those four dogs and some cats and a lot of people who love you. I am so proud of you for caring for people and that you go and dig them up and do things with and for them. I love it when you dance and you really are beautiful.

I’m glad you have your new nighttime show Games of Games. I love it when you scare the people. The things about you are and will probably always keep you successful other than your hard work and the way you can create, is the fact that you think of these things that nobody else is going to do. And that scaring those people when they sit next to you, it freaks me out.

I did make a donation and I was proud to do it, for the firemen that came down with Lou Gehrig’s disease. It was the first time I ever went on the Go Fund Me page. I would usually simply mail money somewhere, whenever I could. But, I went out of my way to see that I made a donation to him. That story blew me away.

You’re helping all of us and the gorillas too. And, I have to shout out your production staff for finding these kids that are so extremely talented. And, you for how you handle them. And, I know you really don’t want to have any real kids. But you do you have something in you, and if you had some children, it would be a bonus for all involved. The child that knew all the capitals of the states, the piano players and the dancers. The best friend boys that come to visit. And my favorite, the child magician is the bomb.

You definitely find intriguing guests and deserved all those Emmys Awards and the most recent Carol Burnett Award. Thank you for what you do for everybody in the world. I know that everybody is proud of you. And I am especially happy that we've got you to watch our backs.

You are so totally unpredictable. You are crazy, lovable, generous and kind. You’re drunk and gay and a great dancer. You’re honest and open.

 

You’ve come a long way, Baby. And thanks for instructing us to BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER.

 

Keep doing your thing……your way.

Sheryl Underwood

Okay, we’re getting ready to close the show here. I don’t even know where to start with you Ms. Underwood. You’re quite something else. I saw you on The Talk one afternoon with some contraption on your head. They were demonstrating people eating while driving. You’re absolutely hilarious. I have seen you do and say so many things that I would just have to shake my head and attempt to comprehend how you do it. You are so funny. You are so talented. And you have so many stories that will make a person cry as well as laugh.

I am so proud of the way you have taken care of your sister. I have to get this out-of-the-way first. Because it is stone inside my heart happy knowing you stepped up and the way you stepped up and did what you had to do. Kudos to you. Serious kudos to you.

I’ve listened to numerous stories about you including the ones with you with your pocketbook on stage on your shoulder so that nobody would rob you while you were working. The stories about your Dad. All the funny words that come out of your mouth and skits that you do and just your being such an intricate and important part of The Talk is going to keep that show on for a long time. I’ve watched you so many days on there. I have listened. I have laughed and I have cried. And to be honest, I’ve a few times felt like you crossed a line or two, but I kept that to myself because how the heck do I know what was planned. I’m a writer and have gotten my hand smacked many times.

You just never know what’s going to come out of your mouth. And, I want to tell you people just don’t know whether you really do things you admit to on that show.

I’ve heard stories that the cast members don’t know where you live. I’ve heard stories of you going off with it with the football team. Sex stuff, OMG, I totally believe you have that down. A Scorpio and some sex, I trust you and. I will never be a man with a pump, Okay?

And before I continue I want to stop for a moment and mind my manners and Thank You for your service to our country.

You are so wild. I mean really untamed. On that show no one knows what you are going to say or do. And I have listened carefully and realize how intelligent you are. And that blows my mind and makes me even happier. Personally I have Stupid People Rage. But you are so smart, so when you are talking I am taking something away with me.

I must admit again we never know if what you’re saying is it truth or a lie. You come up with a lot of stuff, Sheryl, so you have the ability to snatch an audience and they just don’t know what’s going to go down. I often wonder about you and men. I know you were doing a dating thing and you were meeting men and I don’t know where you stopped there. I don’t know if anyone made the grade with you. But I know that you lost your husband and I am hoping that if you really want to settle down with someone that you do find someone because you’ve got a lot to give. No Bullshit.

I listen to you be serious and let the world know how caring you are. And that’s a good thing. That is a wonderful thing for us to know about you. Thank you for letting us in. And I’m glad that you are an appreciative person and that you care so much. Your humble side I have met so many times.

My take on you, overall, is that there’s lot of laughter that comes out of you but there’s been a lot of heartache, responsibility and loneliness. I just get that. I could be wrong. But your ability to make us laugh and keep us going is simply awesome and our ability to be so proud of you and your talent and where it has taken you, you should be aware that strangers love you a lot. I know that whatever you attempt, you’re going to pull it off.

I wish you well, and I hope that the right person comes along and the right person treats you correctly.

Thank you Sheryl.

Put Your Cards On the Table

Sarah was one of my dearest friends. She still is. I’ve known her since I was 14 years old. I am now 66. So, we’ve been hanging a very long time. There have been a couple of times that she has had to come and stay with me. And, she’s married, but it sometimes is troublesome. One particular time she came to stay for a few days. She was still very upset when she arrived and we sat down to talk. I wanted to know what had gone wrong this time. Almost all the trouble that she had in her marriage, was due to her husband’s habits. He wasn’t on drugs or anything like that, but he was a hardheaded Aries. You know Aries men can be troublesome. But that’s another story!

 

Sarah was a basket case at my apartment this trip. My boyfriend who I eventually married was living with me and we had a couple of kids. So there was a space problem, but I knew I was making room for Sarah.

When she and I had an opportunity to be completely alone, we start off in the bathroom for privacy I quickly broached the subject of what this problem was. She explained to me that she was at home with her husband and they got into a discussion. Her husband suggested that they have this extensive discussion on honesty. He told her how much he loved her and he wanted their marriage to work out. Because they went to church together, it is better that they share everything with God. So he told her he wanted to use this opportunity for them to put all their cards on the table. Whatever sins they had between them. He specifically wanted to talk about cheating. He wanted them to be honest about whether they have ever cheated on each other. He wanted her to go first.

 

My girlfriend really loved her husband, even though they had a lot of disputes and often she was unhappy. But, she felt like he was really making an attempt to hold their marriage together and was the mother of his three children. She had a fourth child, but she had that child when he met her. By the way, when she met him she met him at a New Year’s Eve party and he came home to spend the night with her and never left.

 

So Sarah, even though she was reluctant to have this discussion, she was going to go along with it because she really did want her marriage to stay together. So Sarah confessed, by telling a long version of an affair that she had had. She’d had one affair since they had been married. They have been married about 13 years at that time.

 

Her husband, asked her in detail everything that went on. She honestly answered every question. She also told her husband when the affair started and when it ended. Therefore, she let him know that she was not involved with Clayton or, anyone else at this time. And, she also let him know that it was the only time she ever actually cheated on him. She told him the person’s name, she described the sexual encounters, she told him where they would meet, and she described the dates that she went on with this other man. She told him she had been seeing the man a total of about five months. Then she ended the relationship.

 

Once Roger got all of that information, he told her that he appreciated it and he had some suggestions. Roger wanted Sarah to do something to completely confirm that she loved him. And, it would make her husband feel a lot better that she would never return to this man that she had the affair with.

 

Sarah figured that he probably wanted to know where the guy lived, worked or a phone number where he could call the guy. And, she was reluctant to do that if that were the case. However, she asked her husband straight out, “What do you want me to do?”

 

I want you to kill  him. I feel that if you kill him, then you really love me and you have no feelings for him and you want to keep our marriage together. So I want you to arrange to kill him. I don’t want you to hire somebody to kill him I want you to do it yourself.”

 

She was stunned. This woman, I cannot even remember having a fight with a person. Her temperament was not that way. I’m talking like a regular fight with a girl in school or a physical fight with anybody anywhere. She was simply not into that. So, taking in this news, I was blown away and I knew that she could not commit such an act. She was not on the fence, it was not up for discussion, and she flat out said “I am not going to kill anybody to prove anything. That’s why I am here.”

 

Sarah told me that she informed her husband that there was no way in the world that she was going to commit murder to make him feel better. So they got into a big argument at their home and that’s when she called me and told me that she needed to come to my house.

 

She told me that after this discussion they had it was his turn to put his cards on the table. He gave her absolutely no information. He told her that he was not going to admit or share anything with her until she kept her end of the deal and murder this man. And, if she did not do it, that their marriage was going to stay unstable if she stayed with him.

 

I was so angry seeing her in this state of mind I said “You want me to handle his ass? You’re too nice. I can pick up a phone and have him fucked up. And you know it. Roger is a piece of shit. Move, I gotta pee.”

 

Sarah stayed at my house for about a week. Then she returned home. Her husband never gave her any information, he wasn’t very nice to her when she went home but she stayed with him. They are still together. That happened about 38 years ago. They are still together and she has packed his clothes many times since then. She has been unhappy and she stayed anyway. Her children are adults. He has been a pain in our ass numerous times since their marriage has been in existence. And, she has hung with him throughout everything.

 

Several times during their marriage, he has taken vacations without her. I always surmised that there was a female somewhere around, probably sitting next to him on a plane. I kept my mouth shut, I did not want to share my opinion regarding his supposedly alone travel plans. I’ve always found Sarah to be, outgoing, smart, and with a couple of degrees. She is a real hustler, as far as doing things in the work world to make extra money. She has retired from a prestigious ivy league university, gotten her real estate license, and is great at organizing small businesses, that fit into her timeframe to make extra money. However, I do believe that Sarah suffers from a low self-esteem problem.

 

I have no idea what her husband does for a living now. I know that there have been long periods of time when he has lost employment. And, Sarah held up everything. She has four grandchildren that she helps out with, and she loves to travel. She goes to church every Sunday with her husband. She assists in the care of her mother, who is suffering from dementia.

 

Sarah continued in the marriage faithfully for an additional thirty six years. Absolutely never cheating again. Her husband advised her in the year 2020 that he wanted a divorce and the marital property. She has retained an attorney.

I Went Behind His Back

I’m a hopeless romantic. It’s not just all about sex. I dated a man and I love the fact that he was romantic. I remember us going to a restaurant one night. He introduced me to a lot of restaurants. He introduced me to a lot of foods. This particular night he had chosen a restaurant in Center City, Philadelphia. It was a small please, maybe it held 50 people. I remember us entering and we had to stand in line for a moment to place an order. He was in front of me and then we got up to the front of the line where we could order. As he was placing the order, he reached behind his back for me with his right hand. He gently grasped my hand. He just wanted to let me know that he knew that I was behind him. He just wanted to pay a little attention to me while he was ordering for us. He squeezed my hand a little. I thought this was one of the sweetest and most romantic things I had ever experienced. We dated for a few years and he taught me so many things. We still have a lasting friendship. I’ve learned a lot over the last forty three years about him. The one thing that I love, other, than his romantic side is our long conversations and debates. I love dealing with him because his word is his bond. I can count on his word, even if it is a mere comment like, “I’m going to call you back, he calls me back.” He listens and respects my opinions even if we don’t agree. That means a lot to me. He is not a perfect person by any means, but I am so grateful that he has the charming side that I have missed out on in so many other people.

 

I remember one New Year’s Eve that we went out. We were attending a party at a hotel. When we got there, outside the ballroom, before we got in, he actually picked me up and carried me across the ballroom and placed me in my seat, just like I was a present.

 

He had to go to New York often. It was for his business. And, many times he would come home with a little present for me. And it would always be unique and exquisite. I loved this about him because it let me know that he was thinking about me.

 

Something happened and we ended our relationship. However, our friendship has always been completely stable and important to both of us. We tease each other all the time and he’s watched my children grow up. And, I know his children. When I went away to travel school it was Tedd who took care of driving my youngest daughter to and from school the two weeks that I had to be away. It was Tedd that suggested she take piano lessons. My daughter now plays classical music.

 

I once had a meltdown at his store. I had chosen 47 pairs of shoes. I was working there and got a discount on his merchandise. He was insisting I was not getting 47 pairs of shoes. NO! I started crying. I had on a crème colored knit suit. Mini. Dressed to the nines. Beige high heels. I stood my ground, tears and all. He was looking me up and down. Then he said “Why are you this dressed up today? He was summing me up. Then he made a remark that could have made me join the ME TOO people of today. I never flinched. I went home with all those shoes after I wrote him ten postdated checks. He loved and hated me that Saturday.

 

To this day, we still talk very often. My youngest daughter is now 36 years old. We’ve always stayed in touch over the years. My oldest daughter shops at his store. She’s the sharpest person in my family. And, each and every time Tedd finds me on the phone line I know that he’s happy to hear from me. And me, I’m the same way when I answer and find him on the end of the line. Whenever I call, he always says these days, “I know you’re on your way over here, right? You need to get over here. Right now.”

 

And, when I go out there to see him, I always make a big fuss over him. And he makes sure my pooch is comfortable. He often puts me to work if the store gets busy. And, I tell his customers that I’m going to break him up with his girlfriend. He gets a big kick out of that.

 

Thank you, Tedd....for being you.

 

Adrienne.

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